Praying with Lior

I recently saw an amazingly inspiring movie, "Praying With Lior". I personally found this movie on Netflix but I also know you can find it elsewhere like on the movie's and movement's website: http://www.prayingwithlior.com. 

This movie is about a boy named Lior who loves to pray to God. He is Jewish, and in the Jewish tradition praying is done by chanting and/or singing; praying is also done often. If you have ever seen a group of Jewish people pray you will notice that they rock to the beat and this is done to fully embody the prayer to God, and Lior surely embodied his prayers.  Lior is a boy who is turning 13 years old, which means that it is time for his Bar Mitzvah. For any Jewish 12, almost 13, year old boy this is a very exciting day; this is the day when you become a man. During this worship service celebration it is that 13 year old boy that leads the worship service. He has to recite and read scripture in the Hebrew language (which means they need to know how to read Hebrew), and hecreates a sermon or message that expresses to the congregation how God has influenced him and how he understand God in his life. 

This is a huge responsibility for any 13 year old boy or girl, because it takes a lot of preparation work, and learning time. Lior has Down Syndrom and had to work very hard to prepare for this moment in his life. This meant he had to take extra time to consider and think critically who was God to him. But not only was this a huge learning experience for Lior, this was an enormous learning experience for his father and family. They started to have doubts and kept wanting to assume limits to what Lior was capable of, not only in his Bar Mitzvah, but also in his everyday life and future. An example of this was when Lior's father took Lior to his baseball game. While it is wonderful that at Lior's age they can encourage a team to be inclusive and have Lior play, at some point in Lior's life the game won't be about letting him play or not; the game will be about whether or not he or anyone  is good enough to play on the team. While his father was worrying about all of this and if Lior was going to be upset if he couldn't hit the ball and strike out; Lior did strike out, but moved on and took it as any other child.  Lior and his team was disapointed, but he and team moved on and was immediately happily supportive of one another. 

I think it is all too easy to worry about how people with disabilities may feel in case of rejection, or disappointment. So then instead we try and protect them and keep them from experiencing life in fear that they maybe hurt by others. The reality is that all people need to experience happiness and disappointment  because that is life. The father learned that he can advocate for his son's rights and inclusion, but just like every one else there are going to be disappointments in life. The father mentions, in the movie, that he knows he can't protect his son through everything. The problem with this reality is that it is hard to know where the line is between being supportive and overprotective or keeping a person from living their life.

Now something else you should know about Lior is that his birth mother died when he was pretty young, but he remembers her and he remembers praying/signing with her. He continues to pray all the time, when he is at school, playing on the playground, walking on the street, at home, wherever he goes. He says that he still prays with her. It is beautiful to watch because he doesn't pray carelessly, but he prays with his heart.  An interesting question that is raised is if Lior is specially connected to God or more Godly than others.   So is Lior more Godly than others because he has such a gift for praying and reminds the people around him of the importance and beauty of prayer?  Or is the story of Lior a reminder that God blesses ALL people with gifts. Why is it that we are so surprised that Lior has a gift from God and something to teach his congregation and the people around him? Why are we so surprised that Lior is smart and has something to share with the world? 

Anyway, I am sharing some thoughts I had from a beautiful and touching story. I encourage you to see it and visit the website. It will touch your heart as it did mine. I would love to know your thoughts if you see the movie.  

Patience May Open Doors

This is a time of waiting for many people. For Jews, this is a time to remember they are waiting for a Messiah. They are remembering how long they  have waited and all that the Jewish people have been through while they wait for what is yet to come. For Christians, we too are remembering the waiting the Jews have had to do throughout history; waiting in the wilderness, waiting for the Messiah that people for hundreds of years have been talking about. And this is also a time of resting in the NOW and not being scared or anxious about the past, nor afraid or rushing the future. Advent is a time to discover what God is doing in the NOW because the past is already gone and the future is not garenteed. Waiting though can be difficult and in my oppinion it doesn't REQUIRE patience. Instead patience is a gift, and I would argue a gift from God. Patience helps us by providing the space that we can wait and enjoy the time we are living in at the present moment.

I am learning a lot about patience. I am learning it is difficult for everyone, because we are all looking forward to something. One of the men I work with is so excited about Christmas that he gets his days mixed up and has a very difficult time keeping track of time. He gets so excited that he doesn't know what to do with himself that he just dances or starts laughing because he has so much energy and excitement and he has bursts of joy.

As we all know lack of patience does not always come out in a joyful way. Whether we are waiting for a stoplight when no one is coming in the other direction, or someone takes an extra long time in the grocery line, or someone won't stop talking to you, maybe someone is trying to say something but they are stuttering and and you just want to finnish their sentence. Beleive me, there are many times when I want to hurry things up and get to the finish line (whatever that finishline may be). However, I have learned, and continually being reminded, that patience may open possabilities. I am freinds with and work with individuals who take a longer time processing things they hear or processing something they want to say. One option is to avoid talking to those people, because I know having a conversation with them is going to take a while. Another option is to only ask quetions with "yes" or "no" answers; this way may cut down on time. Not only would this be completely robbing this individual of a possible friendship or even relationship because of a selfish motivation; but this would also be robbing me of getting to this person and all that they have lived through and experienced. There is no opportunity for possability. 

I have experienced remarkably enlightening moments, because of what I have been blessed to learn from someone who experiences the world through a different lens. I have had the opportunity to possabilities that I never knew existed because of beautiful conversations.

I beleive THAT is why we are supposed to learn to wait. Its not so much that I am waiting for an end result, but I am waiting for the next Godly moment. Who knows when or how God may show up; but if we all have patience we may be surrprised who we may meet and what doors of possability and enlightenment God may give.

Patience is difficult and I beleive we can not do it alone.

Peace

Politics and Faith

So as you all know, the season of politics has come and gone. Listening and learning were the themes for me this time around. I learned so much about individuals with disabilities and politics. Considering people with disabilities when thinking about this country, how money is spent and given is extreemly important. I learned that majority of individuals with disabilities live off of Medicade and Medicare. This means that if there is a cut in the funding; this takes away from the money that is providing housing, food, shelter, jobs, education, etc. Medicade and Medicare helps to support a lot of people not just one group of people (old, poor, etc.)

Talking to individuals this season I also learned a lot when it comes to legal issues of regular every day life. Did you know that if two individuals with disabilities want to get married then thier funding is cut?  Yes, the funding is cut to protect the potential issue of the household making too much to be eligable for Medicade or Medicare. However, when there are two individuals who have a lot of health concerns and/or they can't have a full time job because of their needs and abilities, then this rule shouldn't apply. So I am friends with a woman who has been dating a man for several years and she can't get married. They have to stay in seperate homes and wait until they are able to have staffing to take them on a date. This ends up being not an adult relationship, but a 16 year old dating relationship with Mom and/or Dad suppervising. If you ask me, this is rediculous and insulting.

Throughout this political season and learning so much about how important politics can be for individuals with disabilities, I have been amazed at all of the concerns individuals with disabilities are worrying about and dealing with on a daily basis. Literally food, water, shelter, and medical concerns create constant question mark and hope that the government continues to help come up with funding to help them simply live. 

Its these kinds of worries and burdens that individuals are having on a daily basis and come into our congregations seeking peace and understanding from their spiritual families. How awful it must be to struggle to get the government, society, and the community's attention and understanding, but then go to a place that understands God's everlasting love and still be rejected. 

Man's Best Friend

Last week I ran into a past student of mine. I was one of his preschool teachers; the class was for students with a variety of disabilities. This particular student was amazingly unique and learned so much more than anyone thought he would be capable of. I hadn't seen the student or his father in about three and a half years and it was such a joy to see them both. In those three years he has been able to learn how to read through singing, because that somehow enables his brain to comprehend and learn new things. In these three years they have been able to raise money to get a service dog. This service dog will calm the child down when he gets over stimulated and needs to calm down by sticking his nose up to the child's face. The dog also helps if the child runs off and gets distracted, the dog is able to track the child and bring help. The dog becomes a calming presence for the child which allows for the child to have a calming presence and focus. 

While talking with this child's father, I learned that there are many churches that turn people away who have service dogs. They can turn people with service dogs away because churches, temples, synagogues, etc. do not have to follow the ADA requirements which state that public buildings and businesses must allow service dogs to enter. However, because of separation of church and state this law does not apply to congregations. This has lead to many congregations not allowing or being hospitable toward service dogs and the people who have them. 

I heard this and I couldn't believe my ears. I understand some people may be allergic or some may find that the dog may be a distraction to adults or children in the congregation. However, it seems to me that this becomes a learning opportunity then for the congregation. 

A service dog is not a pet. A service dog is not even allowed to be given attention such as scratching or petting. While a service dog is wearing their vest the public is not allowed/supposed to give any attention to the dog, because the dog is working. The dog needs to be paying attention to the surroundings and their owner so that they can be of service if and when it is needed. So if a service dog is sitting in a worship service, they are not going to be barking, running around, being petted, etc. 

If the issue is that some people may have allergies? I have a problem also accepting this as an acceptable excuse either. Many people have allergies such as peanuts, mean, wheat, etc. yet they are still allowed to come to worship. In my opinion it is the responsibility of the individuals with allergies to not get too close to the dog if they are allergic. I understand the concern; in fact I am allergic to dogs. However, I now where my boundaries are and that doesn't mean I should exclude someone else from a religious freedom they are welcome to.

It is absolutely amazing to experience a service dog at work. It is also amazing to learn about the relationship between the service dog and their person. I learn something new every time I meet another individual with a service dog. I learn so much about how that service dog can help them function and live a better life. It is such a beautiful relationship that is created between a service dong and their person. The dog comes to know the person so well that they listen and are aware of the other's heartbeat, movements, attitudes; they know the spirit of the person and they know how to relate and communicate to them in a way that other human beings can't understand or sense. It is an absolutely beautiful relationship. Why would anyone not want to learn about this or want to welcome this into thier congregation. 

This is God's creation interacting with one another in such a unique and beautiful way. 

Perspectives

Hello readers! It is Saturday again and I am writing you today as I am thinking about what it means to be "in someone else's shoes". We use that phrase a lot, but what does that mean? I am preparing to teach a Sunday school class tomorrow and I am going to be using the story of Mephibosheth in the Christian scriptures of the Old Testament. Mephibosheth's story emerges throughout all of 2 Samuel. Whether you are Christian or not there is a lot to learn from this story. If you read 2 Samuel you may not even remember this character because he pops in and out of the whole book of the Bible with no big influence (seemingly). However, if you pull his story together, an interesting story emerges. The whole point in doing a class on this is to show how important it is to understand, listen, and explore the different perspectives that exist in daily life. Without piecing Mephibosheth's story together it looks as if David was the one betrayed by Mephibosheth. However, by understanding the whole story, one might start to see that it was Mephibosheth that was betrayed by David. Now one thing you should know is that Mephibosheth is defined by his disability of being "lame" (he couldn't walk). While Mephibosheth's disability was not an issue for David at the beginning, the disability is what seemed to get in the way of David really trusting Mephibosheth. 

It is very difficult for a person without a disability to truly imagine and understand what it would be like to have a disability in a society that has been created for able-bodied people. But what happens when we spend the time to listen and hear the stories, perspectives, and opinions of those in our community with a variety of disabilities.

This is clip helps to break the assumption that society has about people with intellectual disabilities. The assumption is that people with disabilities want to be "normal" and aren't happy with who they are. However, this clip shows that these people want what everyone else wants, to be nicer, sexier, wants a boyfriend/girlfriend, or to be a better person. There is not one person that mentions that they wish they didn't have Autism. 

So what is society's obsession and religious communities' obsession with wanting to fix (heal), change, or correct people because "we" think "they" want it. How often do we ask the individuals what THEY WANT. 

I know a girl who was so excited about being in the play at church. However, the director didn't want her to be in the play because she thought she would be distracting and wiggle/move too much. After some conversation with the parents the director said okay. This little girl has a lot of energy like many other kids and likes to show her enthusiasm when she is excited. She has a wonderful cheerful personality and communicates best through ASL (American Sign Language). So she worked hard at learning all of the signs to the songs the kids were going to sing in the play. The day of the play the director had the children standing next to the little girl hold her hands so she wouldn't move "too much" and be "disruptive". The director didn't realize that by doing this, she was taking away the voice of the little girl because she couldn't use her hands to sing.

Now first I want to clarify that it wasn't because the director was trying to be hurtful. The director was concentrated on creating a play to her standards. However, by the lack of communication, understanding, and getting to know this little girl, she didn't understand why this could be traumatic for her. 

So today my thoughts are in regards to what it means to have a perspective and how do we widen our perspective to think about others. I don't think it is possible to know what others are thinking and feeling or read people's minds. What I am going to try harder to do is find the time to talk to people, and get to know people. I want to ask questions when I don't understand even if it seems like it might be awkward; because I think it would be more offensive to not ask and assume wrong, than to ask and have an awkward moment. Congregation leaders should realize you can only truly understand your own perspective, but what you can do is acknowledge the variety of perspectives that exist in your congregation and community.

I invite any comments, questions, thoughts, or concerns. 

Peace

Communication

I am in the process of learning American Sign Language (ASL), which is the most commonly used and accepted sign language within the deaf communities in the United States. I learning so much about the language, and I am also learning so much about the deaf culture. First, I have learned that there are many opinions of what is acceptable and which language is to be used. Some people feel that sign language should not ever even be used; others feel that people should go to a school for the deaf and learn how to speak. While some believe in schools for the deaf, others are very much against this because they don't believe that they need to learn how to lip read and speak; instead they should be able to communicate in an alternative way and not feel like they have to conform to some expectation the rest of society has set. It has been really interesting and I am increasingly intrigued by these different opinions and I respect every single one of them, because who is to say that a person's chosen way of communication is "wrong" or "right"? I do not feel like I am someone that gets to make that decision.

Thinking about the various accepted and not accepted ways of communication within the deaf community made me understand the ASL language even more. You see the language is very interesting. It is not like English in the way that there is one sign that may mean a variety of different things, but the way you know the difference is in the body communication (facial expressions, body language). So you really have to watch what the other is trying to communicate to you. In ASL it isn't about an even translation with words, its about the meaning. So if I said something and someone was to translate that into ASL, it could be translated with different signs. So when you sign, you chose signs that best represent what you mean; therefore this could be different between two or more people because they chose to communicate it differently.  I saw perfect examples of this when I looked up the ASL translation of songs and each person I looked at did it differently. None of them are wrong, but they are just finding different ways to communicate the song, because it may have different meaning to each person. 

Communication is such an important thing. It is the way we share stories, feelings, needs, wants, emotions; its how we participate in relationships. Now that I am learning ASL, it is amazing the relationships that are opening up at my work with clients. Not only am I excited that I can understand and communicate with them, but they are so eager to teach and patient because it is such a joy to have someone understand their way of communication. Now all of my clients do not sign nor do they all sign the same, but I am learning by spending time with them what their signs are and I can better understand what their way of communication is. There are clients that communicate in the way that they turn their head, or in sounds they make; but all of this is still communication and it is just as important that I spend time learning their languages too.

People do not communicate in the same way; and just as it is important that I am patient and understanding of someone learning English for the first time, we should also be patient and understanding of someone who signs or other forms of communication. I was surprised at how much I can communicate with someone who communicates by the turning of her head. That may seem small to some, but I have learned she is a beautiful person. 

So what does this mean for congregations out there? I think congregations are called to think out of the box, and think of ways in which we can communicate to the people in the community. How can we include people in worship using different forms of communication? First I understand that not all congregations have a lot of money to spend on elaborate solutions, however it is important that room is made in the budget where you can.  Of course people can bring in translators for worship, but you can also have several printed copies of sermons, messages, passages, etc. available. One can also make sure there are small group or one on one times during scripture lessons (Sunday school). This one on one or small group time gives an opportunity to personally communicate with each other, this gives people more opportunity to share their thoughts. While these are just a few ideas; it is MOST important to ASK the people in your community. This week I will make sure to post some websites that have some ideas and resources. 

Thank you all for reading this week. I welcome any thoughts, or if you have resources please feel free to post. Thank you all so much.

Peace

Images, Language, and Expectations

Throughout history we have developed special terms for persons with disabilities such as "retarded", "different", DISabled, limp, lame,  and even "imperfect" or "unclean". This is just a small example of all the words one could come up with. A youth group I worked with came up with a list of over 50 different terms for persons with disabilities. I am reading Unexpected Guests at God's Banquet: Welcoming People with Disabilities into the Church by Brett Webb-Mitchell. Yes, this book does reflect upon the Christian tradition. However, I encourage people of other faiths to also read this book because it addresses similar issues that can be applied in other faith traditions. Starting in the first chapter it reflects upon how the language for persons with disabilities says a lot in the way we treat, socialize, and minister to people.

Throughout history parents who gave birth to a child with a disability would do one of three things; keep them in their home hidden and deny their existence, abandon them, or have them killed. It was the belief for many that the disabilities were contagious or that these children were corrupted by the devil. The Holocaust was an unbelievably tragic event for millions of people, but did you know that it was persons with disabilities that were the first to be taken away to be murdered, because they were to be considered "unclean". Even today there are countries, including ours (the USA) where parents abandon, hide, and even murder children and adults with disabilities. While this doesn't happen a lot in our country anymore, this is not uncommon in many countries around the world.

I do want to lift up an amazing recent growth in awareness of persons with disabilities and their rights as individuals in society and in congregations, but there is a lot of work to do and it does start with the language. I choose to use "person first language"; which means that I recognize that the individual as a person first and the disability is only secondary, ex: James, who has autism, likes to ride a bike. First he is a person, secondly he HAS a disability (vs. Austisic Jame likes to ride a bike); this helps to emphasize what is more important, that being he is James and not his autism.

Even though I have my preferences, it is important to pay attention to how the individual recognizes and refers to himself/herself. The reason I say this is; it has been my experience that persons with disabilities use differing language depending on the community, culture, age, etc. Just like you and I may use differing language, individuals with disabilities do as well. I knew a woman in seminary who used the term "limp" to describe herself. I would NEVER use this term without her permission or for anyone else. However, this was a term that she grew up with and fit how she saw herself in relation to the world. Be careful though, I would not recommend using words like crippled, limp, retarded, and others that seem controversial, because those terms are overall leaving what is considered socially acceptable.

I know language is a very difficult thing to stay caught up on because language is something that is always changing and adapting. However, a congregation is supposed to be made up of people in the community and therefore needs to adapt and fit the needs of the people in the community. This means learning about how and why these terms are changing, and more importantly what do the individuals with disabilities think about the use of these terms. THIS IS IMPORTANT, ask a variety of people with a variety of disabilities about their opinions. One person does not speak for everyone, and opinions WILL very.

Thank you all for your time. Please give me any of your thoughts. Remember I am only speaking from my experience and speaking to others. I am speaking from my perspective within the Christian tradition in this blog, BUT I would like this to be an open discussion and I welcome any thoughts, reflections, or opinions from people of other faith traditions.

P.S. I will be writing once a week (at least) from now on. I promise.

Blessings and Peace